Youve seen or experienced a lot of wonderful things all these years. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election. The experiment raised a [] More, by Quotezine Team April 5, 2018, 5:36 pm. That's exactly what I want you to think. Here you'll find all collections you've created before. born on May 12, 1937, Wishing a special 60th Birthday to a special person like you! Fewer Texans. There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. May you have a delicious and partylicious birthday! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, This website or its third-party tools use cookies, which are necessary to its functioning and required to achieve the purposes illustrated in the cookie policy. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. George Carlin quotes and jokes about humanity. How do you feel with 60 years of wisdom? 65th Birthday Birthday Wishes Funny Birthday Friends Husband Advertising God Birthday Funny Catholic Humanity Driving Addiction Smile World Movies Reason Libraries Lies. Its just soft., Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Happy 60th Birthday! Weve added years to life, not life to years.16.Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.17.When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reason. We have the war on crime, the war on, There is a mistake in the text of this quote. Funny, Sarcastic, Witty. He had an uncanny ability to cut through the clutter of everyday life, and for this, we want to honor this man with our favorite inspirational quotes from George Carlin. I will never be able to forget the support that you have given me. 1. The more you age the more valuable you become. "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.". George Carlin Birthday Quotes & Sayings . Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar. And he always had a knack for packaging bigideas into small digestible pieces of humor. Carlin and his older brother, Pat, were primarily raised by their mother in Manhattan's Morningside Heights neighborhood. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. Famous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics. When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I think your value is priceless. I'm taking your birthday as an opportunity to thank you for all that you are to me. When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands. #1. Custom and user added quotes with pictures, If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next door playing pinball, When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" George Carlin. Every table had an argument going. What does it mean to pre-board? There's no present. This post is not only a celebration to everything he stood for, but a reminder that some of the most powerful messages we receive in life can come from the most unlikely places. I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it. I think people should be allowed to do what they want. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence? If I live to see your grandchildren, I'm going to tell them all the Birthday pranks we played on you every year. His special, Seven Dirty Words became the central subject for a decision by the US Supreme Court to allow the government to censor indecent material from airing on public mediums. Considered as one of the greatest stand-up comedians of all time, his distinctive and provocative style of speeches, aimed at ridiculing the vices of the American society, redefined the genre and influenced a great number of comics. Did you hear me? Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. Every day we present the best quotes! 500 matching entries found. George Carlin. 500 matching entries found. George Carlin. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. There's a humorous side to every situation. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. However, he is mostly known for his dark comedy that sheds light on a variety of subjects like politics, psychology, taboo subjects, religion and the English language. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's. The 50 Most Encouraging Virgil Abloh Quotes, The 51 Most Memorable Angela Davis Quotes, 25 Motivational Tim Tebow Quotes Every Sports Fan Can Relate To, 123 Meaningful Deep Quotes About Life To Supercharge Your Life, The 50 Most Uplifting Personal Growth Quotes. Try spelling Evian backward.10.Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups., 11.Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away.12.Think off-center.13.Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.14.Dont just teach your children to read. His parents split up when he was an infant because his . You are not turning 60. Thank God people dont age as fast as other creatures, because otherwise youd be gone by now. Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, George Carlin (2002). Happy Birthday! We just can't stop people from being homeless if that's their choice. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money.33.If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor.34.Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. 86 Copy quote. George Carlin American Comedian born on May 12, 1937, died on June 22, 2008 George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. Could it be that I do is the longest sentence?52.May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.53.Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.54.If you cant say something nice about a person, go ahead.55.People are wonderful one at a time. Thats the problem.19.We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.20.The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.21.Although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me., 22.When youre born into this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show. It's your birthday! And apparently, Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.25.Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.26.Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?27.How is it possible to have a civil war?28.War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower-class men off to die.29.Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.30.Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. (function(){var g=this,h=function(b,d){var a=b.split(". He was born on May 12th, 1937 in Manhattan, New York and passed away on June 22nd, 2008 due to heart failure. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. George Carlin. We're coming for you! (e in b)&&0
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